Slowly but Surely!!!!

Since my last post, I decided to be happy and I think it's working. My mood had picked up and with that, my appetite has changed. I actually forgot to eat yesterday except for my dinner of grilled chicken and salad. I have a new found love for balsamic vinaigrette to make my daily salads super tasty! (by the way I eat a salad with both lunch and dinner if it's not my main meal) I have lost 2 more pounds and can actually see it in my jean size which is pure awesome! Did I just use two exclamation points? Why yes I did!!!! That's how excited I am that this diabetic diet is working. I figured out that every 10 lbs is a new jean size. Wow....who knew? Those things are really stretchy if they can hold 10 extra pounds per size!

So I know I originally posted that I would post my weights....so here goes....

I was originally at 178 (size 16) and have now lost a totally of 8 lbs so down to 170 and almost a new jean size closer. I hesitate putting up my actual numbers because I really don't think it's about the numbers. I think anyone losing any amount of weight, no matter your size, is so important to your health and happiness so never look at your numbers for discouragement. What I do think it helps to do is encourage others but most importantly to hold myself accountable for what I'm trying to achieve. That is the whole purpose of this blog to begin with. That is all for now.

Happy Eating is healthy eating!

Still stickin' to it!

So I haven't written in a while to say the least. I am still sticking to my new eating habits however I just can't keep on that Metformin. I refuse to pass my life away staying at home all the time because my medicine makes my day unpredictable. It also made me so nauseous that I just couldn't muster up the appetite to eat any food or even drink water which led to many migraine attacks because of dehydration which are just the hardest to get rid of.

I have lost 6lbs and most importantly have kept it off in the past 3 mos. The not so good part is that I haven't lost any more than that. My eating habits are much better but my body simply cannot lose weight without the help of medications due to my PCOS. So I'm going back to my docs to see what my options are if there are any.

More and more I'm feeling well....depressed I guess. I feel as though I am wearing a fat suit but can't seem to find the zipper to take it off. I don't know how to buy clothes for myself because I still see myself in pre-pregnancy form. So I buy nothing. I hesitate spending much time in the mirror as to not look at myself, because it's just a reminder of something I can never have. (at least for now) The weird thing is that I seriously do not see the weight on other people. I look at them and really and truly only see their face, their soul and their personality but for some reason I can't seem to look past that for myself and I just don't know why. There are people who accept themselves for who they are and move on, I just wish I was one of those people.

Not only do I see the fat, but I feel it tremendously. I feel it when I sleep because it pushes on my lower back and I feel it on my hips when I walk. I tire easily which just leads to me not wanting to exercise and yet I rarely sit down at home because there's always stuff to do, you'd think I would be a toothpick because of that.

So this is where I am at today, 3 months after my first and last post. I don't know where I'm headed yet but I am determined to get where I want to be....to a thinner, healthier, happier....ME!

This is the start of something new. New in so many ways. New blog, new life, new train of thought and I’m sticking to it!

I have never made a New Year’s Resolution before. I never saw a point. If I wanted to lose weight or change something about my life, I didn’t see a point in waiting until the beginning of the New Year to do it.

This year is different. This year I have consciously decided to come out of my “mom cocoon” and join the world again. I am a stay at home mom and spend all my time taking care of my husband and my one and only son and have been doing that for the past 4yrs. I have enjoyed it, still enjoy it, but realized I missed myself. These 4yrs have gone by so fast that I have only recently realized what it was I have “missed”. I wouldn’t say that I’ve missed it, but have recently realized the differences in the world around me since I became a stay at home mom. I am now in my mid-30’s and realize I don’t even know how to dress myself outside of “mom jeans”, I am no longer technologically advanced as I once was. I don’t own an iphone, ipad, ipod touch or know anything about the technological world that has taken place since 2007. I stopped taking care of myself and listening to my body which leads me to my new start.

Without getting into too much detail, I am a pre-diabetic and have been putting off starting my Metformin for a very long time. I was on it prior to my pregnancy which helped me lose weight, start a family and just kept me healthy. I had gestational diabetes and am now concerned I am on that path again. I know what I need to do but I just need to do it. My new blog is going to be a way for me to keep myself , my body and my life in check before I can’t change the repercussions of my own actions. I am vowing to take my meds, lose the weight, lose the high cholesterol, gain more energy and gain my life back. It has been so easy to lose myself in my son and not even realize it. I have to demand time for myself, for my body and my mind so I can be a better mom and wife.

So this New Year, I am making my first resolution to myself and my family. I have never really completed anything. I’m good at starting, but never finishing. I am determined to see this through and am in hopes of accomplishing that by having to make a blog entry once a week. I will have to keep myself accountable each week. Whether it’s a good week or bad, I am going to share my struggles and joys of my journey to a healthy life. It’s not necessarily about the weight loss itself, but an overall health and wellness approach to my life. I am not going to stress about what I eat or the numbers on the scale although I will divulge the numbers no matter what. It’s about starting my meds, paying attention to my body and doing what I want to do to make myself a better ME!